Accidentally in Code

Happiness is… being a Connector

Posted on: October 5, 2009

Marcus Buckingham is writing a great series at HuffPost at the moment exploring why women are less happy. You can find all the articles here.

What The Happiest And Most Successful Women Do Differently – gave me the most to think about, although others have too (did you know – having children correlates with less happiness?). There’s also a test you can take. Here’s my result:

Your Lead Role


You begin by asking:
‘Who can I connect?’

You see the world as a web of relationships, and you are always excited by the prospect of connecting two new people within your web.

Your best quality:
Your genuine curiosity

Trust in your web of relationships

Be careful you:
Don’t push people together who shouldn’t be

Your smartest career move:
Any job where you’re paid to speed up the connection between people.

This is fairy accurate. One of the girls from WISE was saying last night, “You’re such a connector, Cate” – which I consider the biggest compliment I’ve had lately. I’m not as connected as I aspire to be, but I’m getting there. I’ve embedded the widget below. Take it! What does it say about you?

[clearspring_widget title=”The Strong Life Test for Women” wid=”4a6e274b799f5199″ pid=”4ac92dbdbbc152a5″ width=”200″ height=”450″ domain=””]

Honestly, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about happiness – mostly I’m too preoccupied getting on with things. But this series validates that this approach is the right one, if it’s working for me. My life is not in balance, but that’s OK. I don’t want children, and people find it weird – but statistically if I keep with that I’m likely to be happier. I say “yes” – and this has put me in difficult situations, but it’s also pulled me out of my comfort zone and given me amazing opportunities. And even though every day I feel pulled in half-a-dozen or more different directions, I’m pretty happy.

If you look at the questions they ask, it’s interesting. There’s this idea that women are less happy because we’re setting ourselves unrealistic expectations, but they don’t ask about that.

1.  How often do you get to do things you really like to do?
2. How often do you find yourself actively looking forward to the day ahead?
3. How often do you get so involved in what you’re doing you lose track of time?
4. How often do you feel invigorated at the end of a long, busy day?
5. How often do you feel an emotional high in your life?

It’s not, “do you feel inadequate when you compare yourself to someone on the cover of a magazine?” – of course we do, even though they’re airbrushed! It’s about how we feel when we get up in the morning, and how passionate are we about what we’re doing.

So – lets love what we’re doing, be passionate, and say yes to every opportunity that comes our way.


4 Responses to "Happiness is… being a Connector"

Interesting! My lead is a teacher and my support is an advisor. And I’m nearly always happy. 🙂

Lead Role

You begin by asking:
‘What do I understand?’

You aren’t immune to the feelings and perspectives of others, but your starting point is your own insight, your own understanding.

Your best quality:
Your ability to find patterns invisible to others

Find time to be by yourself

Be careful you:
Don’t think so long, you never do anything

Your smartest career move:
Any job where you’re paid to produce new content.

My supporting role was advisor. Both of these kind of surprised me!

Do you think they’re right, though? The questions are really subtle!

[…] This series – Find Your Strongest Life – in the Huffington Post is awesome. I wrote more about it in this post. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Top Posts


Tweet Tweet

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

%d bloggers like this: